I was like an open book to you, but suddenly you stopped reading.

People do scare me to death.

Dying is easy, It’s living that scares me.

And by the end of the day

I look down on myself, Knowing that I should be crying in shame, I’m a terrible person.

How to resume a friendship with a long lost friend !

You hate everyone around you.

You think no one cares.

the one thing I asked from you is to call me back when you have time cause I needed you.

I needed someone to talk to.

I needed my friend to be there for me.

you didn’t.

now am the one to blame.

I’m the one who doesn’t give a damn about you.

Really ?!!!

Is that what you have become!!
what kind of human being are you ?!
why did you become everything you said you won’t.
I didn’t tell you when I had my own problems cause I know you have your own.
The one thing I wanted was for you to feel better.
For you to believe I’m there for you, to know that I truly care. But now you’re treating me like dirt.
you’re ignoring me.
You wanted to keep your distance because you thought you were falling for me.
You keep punishing me for telling you the truth.
for being honest.
but I’ll tell you what my friend, I didn’t promise you anything that I couldn’t keep.
I told you I’ll be there for you and am still here whenever you need me.
The problem is that you already lost my trust a long time ago.
when you decided that ignoring me would be the best solution to get over me.
I’m tired of trying.
I’ll just watch you from a distance, to make sure you’re doing okay.
I’ll do my part and forget about yours.

Have faith in God. He will still be here when everyone else has said goodbye.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

people tell you "you don't have to know exactly what you want to do with your life, just get a college degree and your life will be better."

CRAP.

I got the college degree that everyone said I should get, but I still don’t have a clue.

I just don’t know what I want to do for a living. It’s so hard to keep going when I feel this way, and I have tried everything to come up with some kind of idea of a career, but nothing can really inspire me enough to do what it takes to get there.

I don’t really think anyone can help me.

But I don’t want to end up just like every Arab woman, getting married, having kids & nothing more.

I want to have a career, I want to be successful..

Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life.

Memories are the main reason for suffering.

memory is an organism’s ability to store, retain, and recall information and experiences.

when someone dies we cry because we remember the memories we shared together.

when you love someone and then that person leave you for a fucked up reason, you can’t help it but remembering those moments.

People ask you to trust them and to open up to them.

But then they never listen, They could hear your pain and yet they don’t care. I say they are just curious.

This is why I couldn't sleep tonight.

I'm just sad because I'm trying so hard to work this friendship while you just keep pushing me away.
Imagine if you're living with a friendship that is too important to you, knowing that you might give up on me anytime, Knowing that you don't care.
Most of all knowing that I'm not important to you like you're to me.
How could I sleep at night knowing that you could cut the cord anytime.

Friends makes me sick to my stomach

You know that question " would you rather live with one toe or one friend ? "
I don't think I'll be able to answer that question.

The real question is " Should I let go or keep going ? "

They say that people notice what you're doing, Only when you stop doing it.

But I don't know if that's the case, I'm not sure if that's true.
So today it felt like disappearing, I had my phone switched off, and I deactivated my FB because it's useless anyway. and I wanted to take a break.
No, I didn't do that to see who would notice or who would care enough to ask where am I, Because I'm trying so much not to expect, and I'm already not expecting anyone noticing cause I'm not important to anyone like they are important to me.
I'm not sad, I'm just tired.
I think I need to visit a Psychologist, Maybe he/she could help me somehow.
actually I think everyone needs to visit one.
at least they will listen, They won't be rude, They won't ignore me, They won't judge me and maybe just maybe they will understand me.

I did everything for you, and you just screwed me over.

Because I can.

I guess what makes us sad is that we always need more, we're never satisfied with what we have, we're never grateful. We try to fix everyone around us, or when we want them to act like we expect them to do and when we fail we blame it on them. And that's why we push people away. But we forget to realize that we're human if we looked at it closely somehow we're all messed up one way or another.
We trust in people that let us down everyday, but I'm not gonna let that ruin me. Today I took that decision, I mean best friends forever my ass. I'm not saying that I'll push people away, I'll stick with everyone, I'm just gonna stop expecting.
Its expectations that hurt us. And I expect too much. But not anymore. Its not gonna happen just like that, but I'm gonna try, if I didn't let anything bring me down today, I could do it tomorrow and the day after, I could do it everyday.

People put you down enough, You start to believe it.

I’ve learned it the hard way.

They won’t like anything you do.

They will keep complaining.

They will underestimate you.

Make fun of you.

Break you.

whether you do what they want or not.

They will still put you down in a way.

They won’t notice what you’re doing unless you stop doing it.

Don’t let them do that, Don’t let them control your mind.

DON’T LET THEM.

Those are the ugly nights, when I wish you were here.

I'll always remember you and smile.

I still remember every feeling I got like it was just yesterday.
To wake up to one of your texts.
to be able to tell you how fucked up my day is.
to wait for you to make my day.
to go to bed smiling because of you.
to wake up knowing that I'll wake up to a message from you.
and I thought that I'll have to deal with my shit all by myself.
you left me to some strangers that will never care like you did.
I'm not gonna lie I still look for you wherever I go.
I still have that feeling that we were made for each others.
But I also didn't forget the fact that I'm not dead without you.
That I'm here all alone without you.
I don't hate you and never will.
in fact, I'll always remember you and smile.

I go to tumblr to runaway from my own problems.

I go there everyday to runaway from the bitter truth that I have to deal with everyday that no one knows about.

I’m not there to judge people nor to make fun of anyone. I’m there because I’m creating my own world that I couldn’t create in reality.

Today I realized that I'm standing on my own.

I'm seriously thinking about taking a break from everything, Go somewhere, Close my phone and keep running away from the bitter truth that I have to deal with everyday.

It's not that easy not to think of you.

I literally hope that your day was better than mine.

To whoever is reading this, Today I lost a friend who died in a car accident.

Please take a moment and pray for him.

And take another moment to think about all these people that once mattered to you and suddenly you lost contact with each other. talk to them, go get your phone and call everyone just to say Hi, Do it, Before it's too late.

Do yourself a favor and Tell them you love them while they can still hear it. Cause they won't be here forever.

I'm afraid that the end is near, but still not that clear.

So many will tell you that they care, only a few will show you.

It has been a year since we started talking, and it has been 8 months since we stopped.

And here I am, ALIVE without you.

Here I am, strong & standing on my feet again.

Here I am, Not missing you, but missing the person I thought you were.

Here I am, Standing here on my own, without needing your shoulder to lean on.