I'm always waiting.

I’m always waiting for someone. or something. That someone never comes. and that something never happens. I guess I’ll keep waiting.

A dark night of suffering, a long day ahead. where there’s no one listening, to the voice in my head.

Your love was never real, it was just a dream.

A dream that I kept running after. A dream where you always leave me hanging by the end. A dream where we meet but have nothing to say for each other. Wrong signs. Silent moments. Going to bed hoping I’ll meet you halfway, waking up crying as you ran away. But you were never real. in fact that wasn’t a dream. that was a nightmare.

I'm sorry that I don't trust you. And everyday you give me a reason not to. Actually, you freak me out.

Pretending is what I'm good at, faking a smile is just as easy as that.

If you don’t want me in your life, then walk away. I won’t be running after you. I’m tired of running as much as I’m tired of people walking away.

Empty is what I am. Heartless is what I claim. Pointless is my life. and The society is to blame.

I’ve never met anyone who’s willing to do for me what I’m willing to do for them.

Someone stole my imagination while I was asleep. I woke up to reality and I realized that I'm here to stay.

No it's not going to be okay, it's just a lie to go through the day.

I wish I lived in a place where people say "Thank you" , " Good Job " , "I miss you" & "I love you" often.

Kill your heart, Step on it, Walk away and then never look back.

I was like an open book to you, but suddenly you stopped reading.

People do scare me to death.

Dying is easy, It’s living that scares me.

And by the end of the day

I look down on myself, Knowing that I should be crying in shame, I’m a terrible person.

How to resume a friendship with a long lost friend !

You hate everyone around you.

You think no one cares.

the one thing I asked from you is to call me back when you have time cause I needed you.

I needed someone to talk to.

I needed my friend to be there for me.

you didn’t.

now am the one to blame.

I’m the one who doesn’t give a damn about you.

Really ?!!!

Is that what you have become!!
what kind of human being are you ?!
why did you become everything you said you won’t.
I didn’t tell you when I had my own problems cause I know you have your own.
The one thing I wanted was for you to feel better.
For you to believe I’m there for you, to know that I truly care. But now you’re treating me like dirt.
you’re ignoring me.
You wanted to keep your distance because you thought you were falling for me.
You keep punishing me for telling you the truth.
for being honest.
but I’ll tell you what my friend, I didn’t promise you anything that I couldn’t keep.
I told you I’ll be there for you and am still here whenever you need me.
The problem is that you already lost my trust a long time ago.
when you decided that ignoring me would be the best solution to get over me.
I’m tired of trying.
I’ll just watch you from a distance, to make sure you’re doing okay.
I’ll do my part and forget about yours.

Have faith in God. He will still be here when everyone else has said goodbye.

I have no idea what I want to do with my life.

people tell you "you don't have to know exactly what you want to do with your life, just get a college degree and your life will be better."

CRAP.

I got the college degree that everyone said I should get, but I still don’t have a clue.

I just don’t know what I want to do for a living. It’s so hard to keep going when I feel this way, and I have tried everything to come up with some kind of idea of a career, but nothing can really inspire me enough to do what it takes to get there.

I don’t really think anyone can help me.

But I don’t want to end up just like every Arab woman, getting married, having kids & nothing more.

I want to have a career, I want to be successful..

Sometimes I wish I could appear offline in real life.

Memories are the main reason for suffering.

memory is an organism’s ability to store, retain, and recall information and experiences.

when someone dies we cry because we remember the memories we shared together.

when you love someone and then that person leave you for a fucked up reason, you can’t help it but remembering those moments.

People ask you to trust them and to open up to them.

But then they never listen, They could hear your pain and yet they don’t care. I say they are just curious.

This is why I couldn't sleep tonight.

I'm just sad because I'm trying so hard to work this friendship while you just keep pushing me away.
Imagine if you're living with a friendship that is too important to you, knowing that you might give up on me anytime, Knowing that you don't care.
Most of all knowing that I'm not important to you like you're to me.
How could I sleep at night knowing that you could cut the cord anytime.

Friends makes me sick to my stomach

You know that question " would you rather live with one toe or one friend ? "
I don't think I'll be able to answer that question.

The real question is " Should I let go or keep going ? "

They say that people notice what you're doing, Only when you stop doing it.

But I don't know if that's the case, I'm not sure if that's true.
So today it felt like disappearing, I had my phone switched off, and I deactivated my FB because it's useless anyway. and I wanted to take a break.
No, I didn't do that to see who would notice or who would care enough to ask where am I, Because I'm trying so much not to expect, and I'm already not expecting anyone noticing cause I'm not important to anyone like they are important to me.
I'm not sad, I'm just tired.
I think I need to visit a Psychologist, Maybe he/she could help me somehow.
actually I think everyone needs to visit one.
at least they will listen, They won't be rude, They won't ignore me, They won't judge me and maybe just maybe they will understand me.

I did everything for you, and you just screwed me over.

Because I can.

I guess what makes us sad is that we always need more, we're never satisfied with what we have, we're never grateful. We try to fix everyone around us, or when we want them to act like we expect them to do and when we fail we blame it on them. And that's why we push people away. But we forget to realize that we're human if we looked at it closely somehow we're all messed up one way or another.
We trust in people that let us down everyday, but I'm not gonna let that ruin me. Today I took that decision, I mean best friends forever my ass. I'm not saying that I'll push people away, I'll stick with everyone, I'm just gonna stop expecting.
Its expectations that hurt us. And I expect too much. But not anymore. Its not gonna happen just like that, but I'm gonna try, if I didn't let anything bring me down today, I could do it tomorrow and the day after, I could do it everyday.

People put you down enough, You start to believe it.

I’ve learned it the hard way.

They won’t like anything you do.

They will keep complaining.

They will underestimate you.

Make fun of you.

Break you.

whether you do what they want or not.

They will still put you down in a way.

They won’t notice what you’re doing unless you stop doing it.

Don’t let them do that, Don’t let them control your mind.

DON’T LET THEM.

Those are the ugly nights, when I wish you were here.

I'll always remember you and smile.

I still remember every feeling I got like it was just yesterday.
To wake up to one of your texts.
to be able to tell you how fucked up my day is.
to wait for you to make my day.
to go to bed smiling because of you.
to wake up knowing that I'll wake up to a message from you.
and I thought that I'll have to deal with my shit all by myself.
you left me to some strangers that will never care like you did.
I'm not gonna lie I still look for you wherever I go.
I still have that feeling that we were made for each others.
But I also didn't forget the fact that I'm not dead without you.
That I'm here all alone without you.
I don't hate you and never will.
in fact, I'll always remember you and smile.

I go to tumblr to runaway from my own problems.

I go there everyday to runaway from the bitter truth that I have to deal with everyday that no one knows about.

I’m not there to judge people nor to make fun of anyone. I’m there because I’m creating my own world that I couldn’t create in reality.

Today I realized that I'm standing on my own.

I'm seriously thinking about taking a break from everything, Go somewhere, Close my phone and keep running away from the bitter truth that I have to deal with everyday.

It's not that easy not to think of you.

I literally hope that your day was better than mine.

To whoever is reading this, Today I lost a friend who died in a car accident.

Please take a moment and pray for him.

And take another moment to think about all these people that once mattered to you and suddenly you lost contact with each other. talk to them, go get your phone and call everyone just to say Hi, Do it, Before it's too late.

Do yourself a favor and Tell them you love them while they can still hear it. Cause they won't be here forever.

I'm afraid that the end is near, but still not that clear.

So many will tell you that they care, only a few will show you.

It has been a year since we started talking, and it has been 8 months since we stopped.

And here I am, ALIVE without you.

Here I am, strong & standing on my feet again.

Here I am, Not missing you, but missing the person I thought you were.

Here I am, Standing here on my own, without needing your shoulder to lean on.

Everybody leaves because we gave them a reason to.

They always do.

Friends always leave.

will always will.

you need to stop expecting and hurting yourself.

Everybody leaves, no matter how hard you try, how hard you hold on to, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself, They will.

Because somehow you gave them a reason to.

Yesterday I felt like dying, today I feel like flying.

You judge people, and then you complain about others judging you.

I treat people the way I would Like to be treated

not the way they are treating me.

They will tell you; you won't make it, they will laugh at you, they will watch you fall and do nothing about it, You STAND UP and show them the opposite.

I live in a country where I don't belong and I'm not trying to.

I don’t like living in Egypt , I feel like I’m out-spoken and open minded more than anyone over here , I’ve always been honest with everyone I know about my opinion when it comes to Egypt. I really like Egypt as a country but not the people , I don’t feel like I belong there.

I mean I actually live in Egypt but My sub-conscious lives in Europe.

But after the revolution , I thought there’s a change coming toward us , a bright future but from what I’m seeing with my own eyes these days , I believe that the problem was never in the system , the problem is ours , our minds that controls our actions , Our actions are the problem , we can’t blame it all on the system , I mean take a second and think about it , think about what’s happening around us , I think the world is a terrible place.

I think that we are trying to blame the system for the damages , But isn’t the system is just some other human beings ?!! aren’t we all some human beings ? Far away from perfection !! Don’t we all make mistakes !

I speak nothing but the truth.

You decision.

In every human being life , every day should be remarkable, it's your decision, how to make it in a good way.

Yes, I said I loved you . No, that doesn't mean I still do.

"Nevermind, I'll find someone better than you"

I'm afraid of the darkness inside your heart.

In your mind.

You're allowed to create everything you want , even if for some stuff just to stay there.

I didn't promise you anything.

I couldn’t give , I couldn’t do , I couldn’t keep.

When People I know become people I knew.

That’s when I know how much our generation is fucked up.

Don't tell me you're here for me , when I see you standing so far away.

Thank you God.

I thank God for being alive today.
I thank God for giving me the chance to realize how easy it is to wake up knowing that you won't be there.
I thank God for the chance of seeing the light even though you're no longer the reason for it.
I thank God for being alive today , For giving me the chance to love again.

I wonder what have I done to deserve your Shit.

If you think I care too much , well Fuck off, It's your loss not mine.

Pride.

If people forgot about their pride and concentrated about forgiving and being honest , I believe the world will be in a better place.

Dear Mother ;

Yesterday I had a dream of you , we were playing and having a good time but suddenly darkness flew over the place , I had this fear , The fear of losing you , All You wanted was to get me and my brother out of this place safe but You and I were out of this place leaving my brother all alone , you wanted to go back there to save him , I prevented you.
I told you to stay and I'll go get him but once again that place transferred into a dark place I was afraid I'm losing you , I didn't know if I should stay there beside you or go and save my brother from the other dark side , I was lost I saw you fighting everything to go & save him and I kept blaming myself for leaving him behind.
And I woke up thanking god that it was just a nightmare.

At some point we must let go , I just did.

Always be nice to people , You never know what they are going through.

Battlefield.

My head is turning into a battlefield , I can't trust anything I hear and it's hard to believe everything I see.

Believe me if the decision was for my mind to make , it would have been much easier , But the problem is that I have a heart and you don't which makes it hard for me to ignore you.

You left and took away all the lights left.

Death.

Death tear people apart , Break your heart knowing that you will never see them again.
But the harder thing is for this person to be alive somewhere in this big world and you have no idea how to reach them just to tell them that you want them back in your life.

Everybody leaves because we gave them a reason to.

Follow your brain it will save you from the pain.

Today.

Today I was sitting right beside you in your house but I felt like I was sitting beside a stranger in an empty train while yesterday I was sitting right beside you in our school bus and felt like I was sitting beside my soulmate .

These days

There are these days when I can’t stop thinking about you , Can’t stop thinking about what we could’ve been and all I wanna do is to message you with how much I miss you . These are the days where all I wanna be is right beside you.

But there are also these days where I can’t stand thinking about you , Can’t stand the fact that you lied to me or even think about how much I miss that good person I thought it was you , These are the days where I wish you never existed.

Cairo, Egypt.